fingers

you never realize how much you miss something until you dont have it, so they say.

something like, oh...i dont know, your left index finger, for example. i cut a small fraction of mine off the other night and while i know that it will grow back, it makes simple little tasks (like typing this post) a lot more difficult.

but you never realize that when you have it.

so i'm thankful today for my 9.8 fingers and hope to have all ten back soon.

but something about the way i handled the situation the night it happened brought out something that is a recurring theme in my life. as with the last injury i sustained, which resulted in staples to my head to keep it all together, i was very calm and had everything under control. looked like a stud, gettin myself hurt and not crying or showing hardly any concern. clearly i've got everything together right?

its one of my greatest strengths but certainly one of my greatest weaknesses. my friend asked me, "do you ever get stressed?"

makes me realize how much i never admit my need for help, my weaknesses, my pain, my vulnerabilities. because i need to appear strong.

or at least, i think i do.